Yesterday When I Was CRAZY is a stunning story of the trials and triumphs of Paula Potts, an African-American woman whose stellar life was "broken open" by the chronic pain of fibromyalgia, the constant threat of a panic attack, shocking betrayals by authorities she trusted and the taboo mindset that stigmatized her struggles in one word . . . crazy. Paula's pioneering journey to Health and wholeness is chronicled through tales of her ground-breaking experiences with energy healing set against childhood memories of bullies, a privileged upbringing and the racial divide of invisible blackness.
This book is also a concise and comprehensive guide to discovering remedies that work to heal dis-eases that plague humankind the world over. Paula shares her sacred contract with healing to inspire others to co-create and build Health in their body, mind and spirit . The stories about what worked to heal her crippling pain and emotional chaos are full of mystery, metaphysics and miracles. The positive psychology she espouses is highlighted with humor and practical examples of how to access the Health Within, which she characterizes as "love that heals". The "good news" about the profound healing potential offered through energy medicine treatments is timely, encouraging and full of hope.
Paula's poetry, storytelling and philosophic revelations capture the insightful awakening that birthed her uniquely crafted ideas about gifts with responsibilities and spiritual muscle testing. These New Age concepts saved her life and have the power to change us all for the better.
An intimate, autobiographical account of one woman's experience of redemptive healing, the central theme, Love is the Answer, leads us to Paula's ultimate spiritual Truth that, God is Bigger. This book will probably make you cry a little, recall a defining moment in your life and even laugh out loud. Paula's dream is that you will be healed in some way that matters when the final chapter ends.
My hope for recovery was found in the little know field of energy medicine. The "new age" healing process that changed my life forever, started in a dance class. This is where I would learn about Dr. Randolph Stone and his amazing, holistic energy healing system, Polarity Therapy.
My poem, Already Angry, captures the impact of the anger-laden DNA of African-Americans in the United States. I wrote this poem as I was hanging up from a very stressful conversation with a friend. I realized that my anger meter was on nine about to hit ten. In a moment of self-preservation, I was gripped by the thought: I am already angry. So I can't get mad. The poem continues:
I am already angry.
For things in my past
That crushed my soul
And gave my heart a blast
Now I wear an indelible mask.
Is angry behavior essential to our spiritual evolution or self-limiting to our soul satisfaction? Ask yourself this question? Then let your soul answer.
The day that the same babysitter of my childhood remarked that she was surprised that I turned out so well and had a nice child, too, was cathartic for me. In that startling moment, I was clueless about the origins of her commentary. It was her first time meeting my daughter, who was eight years old at the time. She had not seen me either in a long time.
Miss Belle, I will call her, admired the earrings I was wearing, which I promptly gave to her. She replied, "I cannot believe you turned out to be generous too." Being cast as a "bad little girl" in her mind meant I had to be selfish as well. Sorry, it just wasn't so!
There would be no tears for little "Peepeye". Punishment would always be deeply held and invisible to the naked eye. Perhaps this is the reason I was always "squinting" or "peeping". Maybe this is why my Mother began calling me "Peepeye".
My guess today is that I really had a vision problem. I was wearing glasses by the 5th grade. I imagine I had impaired vision much earlier than was diagnosed. Or maybe I was just a quirky little kid.
In any case, early in my childhood, I learned not to cry.
So the label of "crazy" came and went throughout my life. Sometimes it came all the way in and stole my soul's life force. Sometimes "crazy" was just a fit of confusion. All too often, the incidents that gave life to "crazy" were traumatic and overwhelming to my nervous system. The fractures piled up over time. When the dam broke, my life as I knew it, was no more. I would have to start over and over and over to regain my health, my dignity and my purpose.
Yesterday is a break, a siesta, if you will, from the challenges of the present. In the world of overwhelm, yesterday is peace. The lines become blurred in our linear experience.
Yesterday is a colored man who births a Negro then becomes a Black man and births an African-American. Yesterday is the ascension of Christ, the awakening of Buddha and the Dali Lama's exile.
Yesterday teaches me who I am by showing me where I have been and who I have been and why. Yesterday unlocks the door to tomorrow. Yesterday enriches the present to inform the future.